- An intense feeling of deep affection.
- A person or things that one loves.
So, what is tough love? Isn't love supposed to be all the beautiful feelings that filled our hearts to begin with? It's pretty clear the meaning of Love itself is self explanatory. Then why would we want to make it into a tough love or should we say that it is love that hurts us?
We often hear, the more we get to know our loved ones the more tough love we will have to give and receive. We couldn't agree more. As a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister and a friend, we find it to be so true. Because of our love to our loved ones, we often find ourselves getting hurt, BUT in a good way. Sounds like oxymoron right? And here's why ..
Love comes in many different shapes and forms such as a mothers love to her children, a love to a significant other, a friendship love, a siblings love and in some cases, a love that may seem strict but with the intention to help that person in the long run which is often referred to as 'tough love'. Others may view this type of love as 'harsh' but one can easily forget that in the midst of all, it is actually done out of love with the hopes that it will promote responsible behavior. It also comes both to the ones who's giving it and the ones who's receiving it.
When it comes to the one who's giving it, it hurts us the most. Why? well .. besides being accountable to the person we love, it is also means we need to be the brave ones in letting the person know what they don't want to hear. Often referred to being 'criticized' or 'corrected'. And to know we are the ones who's giving it, sometimes it can bite us in the end. Although our intention comes from the pure love, but in some cases they choose to walk away and giving up on the relationship. And this is why it hurts us the most, knowing we love the person so much that sometimes be willing to set the person free is necessary even if it causes us great pain to let go, in hopes for the better for the person.
As to receiving tough love, it can hurt us too. Nobody really likes being told that they are wrong. But it is how we want to interpret the tough love. The wikipedia interprets it as 'an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in long run'. So, to be the one in the receiving end, it is a choice. A choice whether we want to take it as a blessing knowing we are loved and cared by someone who is willing to let us know what we did wrong, with the intention to make us a better person, or we want to let our pride get in the way and walk away from it. Yes it still hurts no matter which one we choose. But one thing we know for sure, choosing to be grateful is way better than choosing pride, because the pain is only temporary and the end goal is to make us a better person. As to choosing pride, well .. we all know pride comes before the fall.
And to say all of this is because of LOVE, it only makes 'Tough Love' an intense feeling of deep affection to someone we love.