Have you ever long for something so bad that it has taken over your energy, emotion, thoughts and maybe even your life? I am going to my vulnerability state here (which, if you know me, it's very rare), and please allow me to share a story of my infertility and of a GOD who is more than faithful to HIS promises.

 

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and we have been trying to have a baby for the last 8 years. It was a pretty rough 5-6 years at first of trying on strict schedule, doing the ovulation tests, fertility tests, praying and hoping each month that I would "miss" my period. During those years, everyone, I mean EVERYONE, around me was getting pregnant. I played it cool, and say, "well, it's not our timing yet. I know our time will come." Days gone by and months gone by and years have gone by, and all these routines of "trying" became exactly that, a routine. And I would go about my day as usual as if this "thing" is not bothering me, but deep inside I was miserable, disappointed and even hit a point of depression. I remember one day, at a friend's daughter's birthday party, she had ran a picture slide show on the TV of her cute little family with her little ones. I stood there staring at the TV and just thought to myself, "Lord, I want this for me too..." and my heart broke into pieces and I just lost it. I hurried to the restroom, wiped my tears, took a couple deep breaths of sighs, and walk out putting on the biggest smile for everyone to see and told myself I will not let this bother me. My husband and I prayed, claimed the Bible verses and continued to pray. I know God is willing, but deep inside my heart I am tired of hoping, tired of trying and simply had given up. At that point in my life, my husband would tell me, "you know GOD is still able, I have not given up on hope, 'cause GOD hasn't given up on me." And he would remind me of this quite often. I acknowledge his faith, and so very grateful for a partner that just knows exactly what to say when I needed it most, and friends that are so supportive in prayers, that I said, "Ok, lets try this again."  

 

Last June, on my 37th birthday, I prayed to GOD and told HIM, "You know what LORD, I am totally at peace. If your will is for me to not have any children, I accept it. I have awesome nieces and nephews, whom I love so much, and have brought me so much joy, and I am good with that. BUT I know that YOU are still able to give me what my heart desire, and nothing is impossible with YOU, but if that is not of Your will, my heart is completely at peace." After praying this prayer, I felt a sense of peace that I have not felt in a long time. The following month, I was late and was waiting for my period to come, but days past and weeks past, and I still did not have my period. Could this be, I thought? Could this really be what's happening? Sure enough, I took the pregnancy test and it was positive. The LORD surely did not wait long, and I heard a gentle whisper saying, "All I needed for you to do was surrender." I know there is a reason in my season of waiting. The LORD was shaping me. HE wanted me to learn what it means to fully surrender and trust HIM, and to not worry about it.

 

So, if you have been waiting & desiring for something, whether it be a child, a promotion, a jump in your career, a soulmate, a breakthrough, what ever it may be in your life, just know that there is a GOD that loves you and is able and more than willing to give you what your heart longs for, just as long as you fully surrender and trust HIM, and know that HE will make all things beautiful in HIS time. And when the answer is "no", just know and trust that behind that "no" there is another "yes" that is definitely worth waiting for.

 

No matter how long it takes, when God works, it's always worth the wait.